Flannery hangs her head in defeat as she reluctantly grabs the final pokeball from around her belt. Unfortunately for the redhead, the sound of haughty laughter fills the Lavaridge gym as a prideful teen praises his powerful Swampert for another KO.
“Even with a Charmeleon and Combustken on your roster…you’re still not even a threat against a skilled opponent. I bet Fatty Fat Flannery stuffs her mouth more than she trains her Pokémon!” sneers Ralph as he points to the gym leader’s doughy pot-belly.
Flannery icily glares at her adversary as she places a hand on her bare midsection. The redhead's forty inch stomach prominently bulges over the waistband of her blue jeans due to many late nights of snacking and strategizing. The pale flesh of her love handles glisten with sweat as the gym leader jabs a finger towards her arrogant opponent.
“JUST SHUT THE HELL UP! EVERYONE KNOWS HOW EASY IT IS TO COUNTERPICK A FIRE TYPE!” barks the redhead while her belly jiggles with frustration.
“And that’s why all Fire types and all Fire users suck,” snickers the boy as he spits on the ground.
“I’m gonna make you eat those words, Ralph! You’re not gonna get away with disrespecting my family and our choice of Pokémon! Come on out Aridgant!” yells Flannery as she grabs the pokeball containing her last chance at victory.
“Oh please listen to me, Aridgant. ”
Immediately after throwing her pokeball onto the ground, a flash of light fills the Lavaridge gym as Flannery’s newest Pokémon makes his 4th appearance.
“Aridgant! Gant, Gant, Gant!” haughtily laughs a thorn-covered Liligant with a gigantic blue flower on his head.
Aridgant – The Narcissistic Pokémon.
Weight: 62 lbs (variable)
Signature Move: Megalomaniac (next attack is massively buffed.)
A wild Aridgant can often be found near the edge of an oasis spring; admiring his reflection for nearly the entire day. This desert beauty incinerates anything that comes nearby, and he must gorge himself on spring water in order to keep the flower on his head from withering away. However, once this Pokémon drains the spring, he is often a blueberry due to vanity and gluttony. But Aridgant cries only because he is unable to see his reflection in the now empty pool.
“Arid…gant,” says the snobbish Pokémon as he flippantly shoos Swampert away with his leafy hand.
“Aridgant I’m counting on you! Let’s show this asshole what we’re made of! I know that type loyalty isn’t a weakness! ” Flannery replies while proudly puffing out her voluptuous chest.
“As if you’re ever going to beat me, fat-ass! Hey Swampert, use Dig on Aridgant!” Ralph barks.
All of a sudden, Swampert tunnels into the earth and disappears from sight.
“Ok Aridgant, use Megalomaniac!” Flannery commands.
Aridgant then haughtily puffs out his chest and releases a prideful, squeaky laugh. The Liligant-lookalike glows bright red while his body size increases in mass from 4’00 to 25 feet (about the size of an onyx).
All of a sudden, Swampert emerges a few meters away from where Aridgant is standing. However, the mudfish Pokémon is completely startled at Aridgant’s new size. He halts his assault and quickly retreats to the other side of the arena, far from the massive plant.
“Now crush that mudfish with a supersized Power Whip!” shouts Flannery towards her giant Pokémon.
However, the ego-boosted Aridgant has once again achieved a god complex due to his new size. The Fire Flower wickedly laughs while raising his blazing foot into the air. Swampert and Ralph are paralyzed with fear as Aridgant refuses to obey the commands of Flannery.
“Aridgant! Arid!…gant.” (Kneel before me! Worship me ants! I command it!)
“NO ARIDGANT! FIRE DOESN’T WORK ON SWAMPERT! WE NEED TO USE GRASS TYPE MOVES!” shouts Flannery in horror.
A giant pillar of intense blue flame then crushes Swampert from above as if he was nothing more than a tiny insect. But after a few seconds of haughty sneering, Aridgant then shrinks to his original size as an enraged Swampert emerges from the plant’s enormous footprint.
It’s nearly midnight, and once again, Flannery is in her simple kitchen—alone and frustrated. The heavyset redhead is currently cramming a piece of chocolate pie into her mouth as tears roll down her plump cheeks. The gym leader’s rotund belly is engorged with junk food and her black t-shirt is stained with small crumbs. Unfortunately for the ruby-eyed girl, today ended in humiliating defeat. Aridgant was knocked out once Ralph’s Swampert used a super effective Stone’s Edge to stop the conceited plant from laughing.
However, Flannery quickly pulls herself together and resumes working on her strategy for tomorrow’s double battle tournament on Mt.Chimney.
“Maybe seeing Combustken in action will inspire Aridgant to become more serious in combat…”
The redhead then snatches another slice of pie from off the table as she glares at a picture of her grandfather on the nearby windowsill.
“How the hell do you expect me to beat people who completely counterpick all that I have? Even the “gift” your friend sent me doesn’t even make a damn difference!” Flannery barks.
But as expected, there is no reply. The woman merely hangs her head in frustration as she contemplates Ralph’s words from earlier.
“Thanks for the Lavaridge badge toots. But hey, since I’m a nice guy, I’m gonna give you some advice. Just quit the whole “fire type only” charade. You’re never gonna win against a competent opponent unless you get type diversity. The era of single-type trainers is over, baby-doll.”
“Maybe that asshole is right,” groans Flannery while seizing the nearby milk jug.
The woman’s fireball patterned pajama bottoms grow tighter and tighter as the redhead washes down her large slice of pie with calorie-laden chocolate milk. The gym leader’s corpulent belly soon begins to make a sloshing sound as her black t-shirt rides further up her midsection.
However, the distinct sound of arguing voices outside quickly catches Flannery’s attention.
“Aridgant!” (Good day brute, I’m talking to you because I demand your friendship. You should feel highly honored that I’m even acknowledging a low-life such as yourself!”
“Combustken..” (You demand my friendship yet you haven’t earned my respect, Farewell.)
“A-Arid! Arid! ARID!” (W-wait cretin, I command you to be my friend! I forbid you to leave! I DEMAND YOU TO STAY AND CHAT WITH ME!”
Combustken…” (Why don’t you stare at your reflection and talk to yourself as usual? I do not wish to be your friend. But if you continue to pester me, then I will physically harm you. )
Eventually, Flannery hears the sound of a high-pitched shriek and the thud of a powerful kick. The overweight Fire-trainer immediately halts her late night binge and rushes out the kitchen door and into the darkness of night.
The next day at the double battle tournament on Mt. Chimney…
“ARIDGANT YOU NEED TO FIGHT! CHARMELEON CAN’T PROTECT YOU FOREVER!” Flannery screams in frustration.
“Aridgant.” (I absolutely refuse to assist Charmeleon. He ignored me when I demanded him to give me a massage yesterday.)
“ARIDGANT STOP BEING SO DAMN SELFISH!” cries Flannery as her sweaty gut jiggles from yelling.
The current situation couldn’t be any worse for the Lavaridge gym leader. Aridgant is pompously sitting on a nearby rock with his arms folded and legs crossed. However, he hasn’t taken a single scratch of damage for the entire tournament. Instead, Aridgant has been shielded from harm by Flannery’s tough-as-nails Charmeleon and the rest of her team.
In the current battle, Charmeleon defeated a Polywrath and still had enough juice to take on the opponent’s Blastoise. But unfortunately, after tanking numerous water based attacks, Charmeleon is barely hanging on.
“BLASTOISE USE HYDRO PUMP ON ARIDGANT! WE CAN’T KEEP WASTING RESOURCES ON CHARMELEON! ” commands a blonde girl towards her turtle Pokémon.
Blastoise obediently replies with a silent head nod. The blue tortoise aims its silver cannons at Aridgant and fires a pressurized stream of water towards the conceited flower. However, Charmeleon bull rushes in front of Aridgant and stonewalls the powerful jet.
The lizard smirks as if the water doesn’t affect him. Charmeleon is soaked yet still appears fresh for the fight. But in response to Charmeleon taking the hit, Aridgant haughtily taunts Blastoise from afar.
“Gant! Gant! Gant!” (Oh heavens! You are quite the jester!”)
But suddenly, Charmeleon collapses to his knees. He can’t keep up the façade of invincibility any longer. But for a fraction of a second, Aridgant looks worried. However, the fire flower then snobbishly upturns his face and looks away from Charmeleon. Why should he care about such a low life?
“Char…meleon.” (I gotta…keep going…must…protect my friend…at all costs.”)
“BLASTOISE! CHARGE UP FOR HYDRO CANNON!”
Aridgant suddenly looks confused. Did Charmeleon just call him “friend”?
“Arid…” (How is…b-but…I don’t have any fr—)
All of a sudden, an enormous torrent of water shoots from Blastoise’s cannons.
“ARIDGANT DO SOMETHING! ANYTHING! PLEASE!” tearfully screams Flannery as she raises her hand in the air.
Without a second to spare, Aridgant leaps off the rock and stands in front of Charmeleon. Astoundingly, the cactus-based Lilligant takes the full blast of water without flinching. However, his body instantly inflates to a gigantic blueberry form due to his ability of Water Weight.
All of a sudden, laughter fills the air as spectators point at Aridgant slowly rolling away.
“ARIDGANT! ARID!" (I DEMAND SOMEONE DRAIN THIS WATER FROM MY BODY! ARE ANY OF YOU LISTENING TO ME? HEY! DON’T IGNORE MY COMMANDS YOU FEEBLE-MINDED FOOLS!”
“Well…at least he wanted to protect Charmeleon.” Flannery sighs as she drops to her knees.
“But now Aridgant can’t even move…”
“Charmeleonnnnnn.” (Gooooooooooood nighttttttttt…)
“The Red Corner is unable to battle! The Blue Corner wins!” declares the tournament referee.
2 weeks later…
It’s approaching eleven ‘o’ clock in the evening, and Flannery is sitting in the dining hall of the Pokémon Center with a greasy hamburger, large fries, and chocolate shake. Yet this is the fourth time she’s eaten this meal in less than a single hour. The depressed gym leader is surrounded by food wrappers and emptied plastic cups. Her 200 pound body jiggles from head to toe as the redhead reminisces on a day of losing to water Pokémon at Lavaridge gym.
“Well I don’t think we’re getting any worse.” Flannery sighs while stuffing a fistful of fries into her mouth.
All of a sudden, a leafy green hand reaches for the burger on Flannery’s plate. However, the hamburger is immediately snatched away by pale, chubby fingers.
“Hey thief! Don’t touch my hamburger! I bought you like five sodas already! Sheesh, and we both know how much Charmeleon gives you!” snaps Flannery as she shoves the fatty morsel into her mouth.
“I need this so I can actually think, Aridgant. If you didn’t know, this burger is brain food, and I definitely can’t go without it.” Flannery laughs while her 45 inch gut continues to exert pressure against her latest pair of pants.
“Aridgant...ARID!” (I claimed that cut of meat for my own consumption! HOW DARE YOU USE YOUR GRUBBY PAWS TO SNATCH IT AWAY!)
All of a sudden, the Lilligant-like “dress” that Aridgant wore visibly grew wider as the Pokémon chugged away at an enormous cup of soda. However, Flannery didn’t seem to catch it while devouring her greasy hamburger.
Lately, Flannery and Aridgant have been traveling to the 24hr Pokémon Center in Lavaridge Town for midnight snacks. It seems as if the redhead still hasn’t figured out a way to deal with the abundance of strong water-type Pokémon that keep submerging her dreams in defeat. But the gym leader feels as if she’s close to lighting the flame of victory.
“Anyway Aridgant, I think I’m going to find a Technical Machine that teaches you Rollout or Moss Ball. It would be useful for when you’re in that blueberry state…especially Moss Ball since its grass type.” Flannery says while fattening her own figure with French Fries.
“Aridgant…(I refuse to learn those moves…they’re for lardy Pokémon. You already taught me Heat Crash and I despise it.)” The fire flower replies while finishing another cup of soda.
(Where is my faithful Charmeleon when I need him? This cup is empty and my favorite lizard is always happy to bring me a refill!)
Aridgant quickly tries to wiggle his Lilligant-like lower half out of the small booth; but he seems to be stuck. Amusingly, it looks as if the kindness of a certain fire lizard has softened someone’s figure. Also, maybe Flannery needs to start going on a diet. They say a trainer’s body reflects the strength of her team.
“Oh god…this burger is so good. I’m definitely ordering another one,” moans Flannery in ecstasy as her massive love handles quiver in delight.
But all of a sudden, an alarm begins to wail through the Pokémon Center as the double doors of the dining hall suddenly smash open. Instantly, a curvaceous woman dressed in a lab uniform walks into the room while being followed by a thuggish Empoleon and a menacing Meganium. The Empoleon is carrying a large white sack on his back, stuffed with small spheres.
“Interesting, I guess there was someone I missed after all,” yawns the buxom scientist.
“Pardon my french…but who the hell are you, lady?” Flannery grunts.
“Just a researcher and experimenter, now anywho…give me your Pokémon.” commands the scientist.”
“Yeahhhhh sureeee…” says Flannery while getting out of the booth with Aridgant.
“Well then, I’ll just help myself. I don’t have time for games. Meganium, turn those two into balls of flab with Heavy Nectar.
“Aridgant! Arid—“ (Oh please, like you could ever get me fat—)
All of a sudden, Meganium shoots a tube shaped vine directly into the mouths of both Flannery and Aridgant. Within seconds, both of the victims feel a thick creamy substance being forced down their throats. The scientist haughtily laughs as Flannery and Aridgant try to remove the vine from between their lips…but cannot.
Flannery’s gigantic stomach rips through her clothes as her body quickly expands. Her hips and thighs become tree trunks made of jiggling flesh as her breasts become the size of beach balls. The redhead’s enormous backside becomes the width of a large writing desk as she fattens up to nearly 450 pounds.
Aridgant simply becomes a supersized blueberry at nearly 250 pounds, but he’s stuffed with dense flab, not water. He releases a high-pitched scream of anger while helplessly flailing his arms around. The Fire Flower Pokémon is trying to use Heat Crash but he’s too heavy to even move.
“WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED TO ME?” Flannery barks as she tries to get up from the floor. Unfortunately for the Lavaridge Gym Leader, she’s too fat to even stand.
“It doesn’t matter what happened sweetie, but I’ll be taking the Pokéballs beneath your sea of flab. But I’m not touching that lard. Empoleon, use Magnet Pull.”
“YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY POKEMON!” screams Flannery.
“ARID! (NO! THAT CHARMELEON IS MINE! HE’S MY ONLY FRIEND!)” Aridgant cries with a waterfall of tears flowing down his cheeks.
All of a sudden, Flannery’s Pokéballs emerge from beneath her flab and levitate towards the Empoleon carrying the sack.
“The name is Venus by the way, and thanks for doing business with me. Oh and don’t worry sweetie, Heavy Nectar’s effects only last a few hours. But I’ll be long gone by then. “The beautiful scientist taunts while blowing the immobile redhead a kiss.
To be continued.